The Ordinary Review

I bought a set of three suitcases at a yard sale this spring. What’s odd about them is that they have no brand name. They are completely generic! They have small brand-like leather rectangles sewn into the sides, but these rectangles do not have anything printed on them.

I am very satisfied with how generic these suitcases are. They are like abstract symbols of suitcases. They could be labeled with any brand name, and they would look fine.

Their quality, on the other hand, is another matter. They are unstable and often fall over when you try to roll them. The handles are awkward and make the suitcases feel unbalanced no matter how you hold them. But for $1 altogether, I can’t complain too much. You get what you pay for, right?

Just because a brand of vitamins is chewable, doesn’t mean that the vitamins taste good. Centrum Advanced Formula Chewable Vitamins illustrate this principle pretty clearly.

I take these vitamins every day for good health, of course. I chose the chewable ones because the non-chewable ones are too large. Although I am capable of swallowing those large vitamins, having to swallow such large vitamins is a pain. I would dread it so much that I ended up skipping my daily vitamin all the time.

Having chewable vitamins makes me more likely to take them daily. When I see the bottle on the table, I can open it up and chew one tablet instantly, without needing a glass of water.

The drawback to these Centrum chewable vitamins is that they don’t taste very good. I remember being a kid and enjoying my daily Flintstones vitamin. Now, I don’t really enjoy taking my vitamins anymore.

Perhaps I really should buy those pleasing Flintstones vitamins.

Whenever I run out of toothpaste, my instinct in buying a new tube of toothpaste is to choose the weirdest, wackiest, and tackiest one available.

Which is why I bought Crest Rejuvenating Effects toothpaste.

This toothpaste has a different taste from typical toothpaste, but it retains enough of the familiar taste of typical toothpaste that you feel comfortable using it.

If there’s a fine line between adventure in new products and boredom in traditional ones, this toothpaste is on the adventure side, though just barely. It seems adventurous at first, but after using it several times, it’s almost boring. The key word here is “almost”.

I bought some sheets of felt to play with. Now they’re lying in the middle of my living room floor.

I give these felt sheets an extremely good review. They have been entertaining me for hours and hours, and they were cheap. Also, I’ve been making lots of wacky things out of them.

If I make anything that I’m really proud of, I’ll post a review of it here. Or I might start another blog about it, because when you have a good hosting plan, you’ve got tons and tons of server space to waste.

A few years ago, my aunt brought me a gift from the Philippines: Beauty Host Papaya Deep Whitening & Glowing Skin Cream.

It is a fabulous cosmetic product in the world, despite its political incorrectness. It’s a cream that you rub on your skin to peel the dead skin cells, making your skin whiter and brighter.

Some text from the box, word for word:

• “Clean out Horniness Whitening”
• “One Minutes Dispel Horniness”
• “Special result”
• “Naturainess Particularity Coruscate Gloss”
• “Extracting pawpaw essence with ultralow temperature extractingtechnique, added with natural active oxygen whitening essense and grape seed O.P.C, going deep into skin to remove aged epidermal sells, inhibit the transfer of melanin to epidermal cells and promote the cell renewal, lessening the incidence of skin color spot and blemishes, leaving skin white, immaculate and instantly revitalized!”

The company that makes Beauty Host is called “Elov Cosmetics Co., Ltd.” Their logo includes the text “Beautiful Life” … “Perfece Career”. If I get a chance, I will post pictures.

I give this cream an excellent review. It works very well, and it is fun to use. I make no guarantees about its safety, however.

I have one of those calendars from Bank of America that stands up like a sawhorse. It is shaped like a triangle, and it rests on the triangle’s base. I got it when I opened a new account at Bank of America.

I like this calendar very much, because my alternative to looking at it is to check the calendar in Windows. The Windows calendar is pretty lousy, in my opinion, and when you try to view the next month, you risk accidentally changing the date that your computer is set to.

The only drawback to this calendar is that it falls over sometimes. It gets tired and faints, much like you would if you had to stand all day and night without rest.

I wish that Bank of America had better, more expensive giveaways. As a giant national bank with bad service, I would think that they could afford better giveaways. But I like the calendar and think it’s okay.

I have a bottle of Aleve in my bathroom. “All day strong,” the bottle says, all day until I am sick of hearing it. “Be quiet now,” I tell the annoying little bottle.

I give Aleve a pretty good review. It does relieve my pain, and it lasts longer than the other pain relievers.

It is pretty strong, though. It makes me feel weird when I take it. I don’t really know how to explain what it’s like to “feel weird”, but I’ll try. It is a combination of feeling physically uncomfortable and being on the verge of pain, though not quite there yet.

When you are hurting but are neither sore nor in pain, it’s pretty weird. So my review of Aleve is: good but weird.

I have a bunk bed at home, that looks exactly like this except that it’s bright red.

I am sort of embarrassed that I have a bunk bed. I am even more embarrassed that I sleep on the bottom bunk sometimes. Cold nights are my soft spot for the bunk bed, because it’s right next to the heater. But at least it’s not my bunk bed; it came with my apartment, and it will stay with the apartment when I move out.

I give the bunk bed an average review. It receives points for being next to the warm heater, but it loses points for being a funny-looking bunk bed.

While taking pictures of my sofa, I found my remote control. Many thanks to Michael for asking me to take pictures of the sofa. If it weren’t for him, I might never have found the remote.

A month ago, I would have given the remote control a fabulous review. It just makes life so much easier, because you can just sit around without ever having to touch the TV directly.

But now I give the remote control an average review. I realized during the past month that I really didn’t need it. I sit about 10 feet away from the television, which isn’t much of a distance to walk in order to change channels. Furthermore, I don’t really like to change channels. Channel surfing makes me feel like my life is a meaningless waste of time, but that’s really not true. I promise that’s not true! Please believe me, despite the fact that I spend a lot of time updating blogs like this one which seem like a waste of time.

The other point against the remote control is that it is dusty from being under a sofa cushion for so long. I did not bother to clean it off, because I am a busy, busy person. Dusty objects automatically receive a lower rating than clean ones, because they irritate my sinuses.

To summarize this review, I give the remote control an average review. I would have given it an excellent review a month ago, but it is less appealing now that I have lived without it and since it has gotten dusty.

This review is special because it’s two reviews in one: a review for Nips: Peanut Butter Parfait, and a review for Nips: Chocolate Parfait. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the review.

I have a Nips: Peanut Butter Parfait candy in my mouth right now. I put it in my mouth as soon as I started typing this review, and it’s still there right now. It is tempting to bite it, but I know that I shouldn’t for several reasons:

• The peanut butter center tastes best when it’s the reward at the end of the candy, rather than when I cheat and try to get to it before then.
• These candies are more like hard candies than soft candies, so biting them is difficult.
• These candies in particular stick to your teeth pretty badly when you bite or chew them.

Okay, I have to admit that as I was typing up that list, the peanut butter center started to spill out. So, like any candy-loving American would do, I bit the candy. To my surprise, it was semi-chewy, though not easy to chew.

The chocolate parfait version is better than the peanut butter version, but only by a small margin. Overall, these candies are excellent. Their only drawback is the tough chewiness and stickiness.

I would recommend them to anyone who has ever liked Werthers hard candies or caramel. But watch out for your teeth! Don’t say I didn’t warn you, if your teeth break or your fillings get pulled out by these candies accidentally.

The other variety that I hope to try soon is Nips: Dulce de Leche vanilla parfait:

So good, but so bad for your teeth.